Success: Defining It Your Way
What if the world’s definition of success is wrong — and it’s been keeping you from seeing your own?
Most people grow up believing success is about results, the score on the board, the number in your bank account, the title in your email signature. We’re told it’s measurable, comparable, and obvious to others. But here’s the truth: success is deeply personal, and only you can define it.
The Oxford Dictionary calls success “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” But what that aim or purpose is, that’s entirely up to you. The beauty of the human race is that no one person is the same and therefore it is most likely that everyone’s definition of success is different.
Unfortunately, in a results-driven world, it’s easy to let someone else’s definition become your own. Without a clear sense of purpose, we measure ourselves only by numbers and rankings. But when you have a higher purpose, those external measures lose their grip.
My Own Scoreboard
True success, for me, is staying true to who I am and the values I hold as I navigate my journey. My biggest accomplishment isn’t any of my contracts, trophies, or medals — it’s staying grounded in my values, no matter where life takes me.
In football, once I clarified my purpose (as I shared in my Identity blog), I was finally able to define what success meant for me in the sport. I stopped chasing society’s idea of what a “successful” football career should look like. I started using my own scoreboard, one built on growth, learning, and connection, not just wins and statistics.
A Moment That Changed My Perspective
Back in 2015, I sat an exam at Quinnipiac University and scored 38 out of 100. At first, I was disappointed. But then I realised something: my definition of success wasn’t about the grade, it was about what I had learned.
When the class began, my knowledge in the subject was near zero, while most classmates already had a strong foundation. By the end, I had learned more than I expected. The grade didn’t reflect that growth, but my journey did.
I emailed my professor and wrote:
“if you are going to grade me on what I have achieved, I have failed, but if you are going to grade me on what I have learned, then I have passed”
The professor never replied… but I passed the class.
That moment stuck with me. It showed me that success, for me, is about who I am becoming and what I am learning, not the score at the end.
Success Through the Lens of Purpose
Over time, I discovered my purpose. It guides my decisions, shapes my actions, and gives me my own scoreboard. It allows me to measure success in a way that’s meaningful to me — and impossible for anyone else to dictate.
When you know your purpose, your focus shifts:
The scoreboard becomes less important than the growth you’re experiencing.
Setbacks become lessons rather than failures.
Success becomes something you can feel every day, not just at the finish line.
Your Turn
So, what is success for you?
Only you can answer that question. Don’t let society, your boss, or the scoreboard define it for you. Get clear on your purpose, your reason for being, and let that become your measure.
Because once you define success on your own terms, the world loses its power to tell you whether you’ve won or lost.
